Creating Boundaries To Improve Your Life
Ever have someone come up in your face and start talking to you? Your immediate reaction is usually to back up to regain your more comfortable personal space. What about the incident when someone touches your name badge while you are helping another customer? Or that anxious, twisting feeling in your gut of being violated and sort of outrage that someone would think that kind of behavior is acceptable or even tolerated. These are examples of personal boundary violations and can make one feel very uneasy, often agitated.
It is necessary to establish and maintain boundaries to feel a sense of security, a basic human need according to well-known psychologist Maslow and his theory Hierarchy of Human Needs. With all the demands of daily life, balancing a career with family responsibilities, and the deterioration of self-worth as women place everyone else's needs before her own. Often women become depressed, emotionally as well as physically exhausted, and spiritually drained. Many try to overcompensate by throwing themselves into more and more activities because they feel guilty or want to hide what they are really feeling- wiped out! Women feel guilty because they occasionally get so overwhelmed they just want to run away from everything, which makes them feel like they are bad mothers for feeling that way. How could they put themselves first? What about the children? What kind of example would I be setting for the children? Actually, you would be setting a healthy example of how to take care of yourself and how important it is to have MeTime. Everyone benefits when the women are rested and emotionally satisfied because they will have something to give, energy to give it, and the joy in sharing it.
Creating an action plan, implementing it, and reflecting on the process as well as the outcomes will assist in accomplishing the goals that you have created for yourself. Carving out MeTime in your hectic schedule, a block of time for you to take care of you, is critical for boundary setting and goal planning. Whether it is to become involved with and practice meditation, reading a book, or taking classes at an LVN program to become an LVN in California, it is your time to fulfill all your dreams. It is important to consider whether personal boundary violations are from intentional or unintentional motives of the violator and what their "Maslow need' is that the person was trying to meet which basically was driving their behavior. If one can step back and analyze the reason or need behind the behavior, your outrage and uneasiness may shift to understanding and empathy.
Initiate a change within you to gently but consistently honor your boundaries when others attempt to test them. Calmly and non-judgmentally enforce your personal needs. Now is the time for you to act on your dreams and decide to be happy. No one else can do this for you. It's up to you.